I was listening to the radio yesterday (NPR, of course) and they were discussing the issues Alabama is having. Alabama is the newest state to legalize gay marriage - the 37th to do so.
The commentator was noting that something like 50% of people in America still oppose gay marriage, but for every elderly person who dies opposing it, a baby is born who will grow up to support it. We can all see things are changing.
Anyway, it just made me glad things are changing. And it made me grateful to get to feel the way I do, which is that we are all just brothers and sisters, deserving of love and fulfillment and meaning and choice. And it made me grateful for the reasons why I get to feel the way I do, which is the several brief but sweet friendships I've had with people who are gay. When I think of them collectively, I just think they are some of the kindest, funniest, most honest people I've met.
People say girls are supposed to like the bad guy, but in elementary school my peers and I were all in crush with the same nice guy. He was sweet and thoughtful, soft-spoken and funny and the most fun to play with at recess. I remember him giving me some cute erasers once. It wasn't until years later that I found out he was gay.
The first guy I knew who was openly gay I met in junior high. He was tall and boisterous and hilarious. I just remember sitting around as a group at lunch and listening to him tell stories and laughing until it hurt.
During a summer reprieve from college, I worked at the front desk of a hotel in downtown Salt Lake. More often than not, I worked alongside a guy about 10 years my senior who spoke openly about himself and his partner. He was well spoken and funny and really good at listening to people. The thing I can't forget is the time I was struggling with a disgruntled guest and how Rob dashed to my side and intervened in my behalf. I really can't think of a time another man rushed as swiftly and confidently to rescue me. It might have been a small thing, but it has stuck with me.
So when people around me talk about homosexuality as a curse or problem, I really can't agree. My experience tells me they are just good people, except with a slight advantage when it comes to listening and being inclusive. Experience tells me I like being around them, and I would like nothing more than for them to have the same chance at happiness as the rest of us.
One last thing. The most recent gay man I met? My best friend's husband. When he let her know he was gay several years and kids into their marriage, it broke her heart. It rewrote her life and in many ways it scarred her for life. They went through a lot of painful years before divorcing and going through a lot more painful years. My best friend is funny and outspoken and full of energy and vulnerable. I had a hard time forgiving her husband, but to her endless credit, she forgives him and miraculously overlooks his shortcomings as few divorced people can when it comes to their ex. She is in many ways his defender, siding with his rights. In the end, she does not accept that it is right to expect him to be celibate, to not experience love and connection and passion and commitment. I don't either.
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